bitterbutter

A Tip Top day.

On Sunday Mike and I had breakfast at the Tip Top diner in Stow.

We spent the morning visiting my father in the hospital. We also met with his doctor to find out what we need to do, what we need my father to do, to get out of the hospital, out of rehab facilities and back home.

He just has to work harder in getting mobile. He can't even stand up on his own. He also has some dementia. It's so scary to even type that.

Most people are ready to take on any phyical illness....but dementia. What the heck do ya do with that? I know all the textbook answers to that question.

But emotionally, and deep in my gut...it's frightening. I worry about my dad. I worry about my mom. And I feel selfish too. I don't want to have to deal with all of this. I feel guilty too. Like I am not doing enough. I guess the reason I "feel" guilty is because it's true. I am not doing enough.

But the guilt goes away and gets replaced by anger when I hear that my father got on the phone this past week and ordered over $150 worth of food from a local pizza place for all the nurses on his floor of the hospital. He told the pizza place he would pay for it when it arrived.

He then called my mom and asked her to drive over with the money or to "call a cab and have them bring the money to the hospital."

My brother had to call the pizza place and explain to the owner what was going on and that we don't have the $150 for the food. The pizza owner had just gone thru some stuff with his own father and was very kind and only charged us half of what it all cost. Still . . . that's $75 my mom and brother could not afford.

I don't know who to be more angry at.

• My dad for doing this stupid shit? It's not like the dementia brought this on. He has always done this kind of ridiculous grandstanding.

• The pizza shop for agreeing to deliver $150 worth of food to a patient calling from the hospital?

• Me because my mom was afraid to call and tell me about this on the day it happened?